she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You smell like stripper and shame
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
