Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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