Is it because I queefed?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
