dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize