I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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