East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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