the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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