Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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