As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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