I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
