So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
