Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
