How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
