I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
