she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
please come you make the beer taste better
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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