JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
