Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
