i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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