Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
