Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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