Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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