Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
