She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
