Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
