Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
