Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
