The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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