Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
