i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
