her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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