# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
