wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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