Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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