I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
