my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I pour the whiskey from now on
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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