This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
