youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize