do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
