he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
