And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just high enough for therapy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
