I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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