did you get engaged???
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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