I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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