I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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