Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
