last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
