i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
