Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
