Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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