A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
