Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
