every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
