4 words: hood of his car
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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