I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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